Something i've learned the hard way, is that other people cannot fill the holes in our lives; they create truly wonderful NEW spaces (some more wonderful than others) but they can't burden the full of extent of our personal responsibility, nor can they ever live out our experience.
It's fair to say that many of us hope somehow, that other people can 'complete' (or save us) in some way - this idea is sold by Hollywood in a profoundly believable way - yet it contains more fantasy than truth.
After all, it is an incredibly wonderful idea - that somebody could come along and shoulder the burden of our lives.
The Limit of Support
Friends, partners, children, colleagues, team mates -everybody will contribute in many ways to your life, but they will walk a separate journey - even if you share an identical path.
That is not to say that support from others is not paramount, because it is. Without support, we cannot hope to become what we can and could.
Supporting one another is indispensable at the highest order; but let us not allow the warmth of kindness fool us into thinking it will be the answer to all; for in this trap of false expectation we can lose sight of how special genuine support actually is.
A part of 'us' can never be shared - the full self can only be realised internally, the extent of pain only healed inside.
This hard truth leads us to a critical and inevitable conclusion.
Responsibility is ours.
Herein is the pill that can be the toughest of all to swallow;
We can be free of fault, yet to be our best self we can never be free of responsibility.
"Responsible to who?" I hear you cry.
Many events will pass through our lives that are not our fault; events occur that shouldn't - moments and experiences that are unfair, unjust and downright dreadful.
For some, the depth of these experiences is vaster than we could ever imagine.
Yet we must find the strength to discover a deep responsibility for the person we should love more than any other in the world.
To reach our best destiny we face an unavoidable ocean of personal responsibility - for without sailing this sea, we remain captive on an island from which there can be no other escape.
This holds true, regardless of how and why.
Nobody is coming to save you
The following words may be the hardest and perhaps harshest I have ever dared write at Team Body Project...but I write them only because I care.
....nobody is coming to save you....
Yet, these words are not sad, for in the moment we accept them, we can see that our power is within.
Other people can meet us at the shores of our minds, they can show us the map of our destiny, they can stand by our side as we march on, they can bring colour and meaning and love and laughter....
...but WE (YOU...the individual) have to set sail if we wish to be everything we could be.
We are our own hero.